DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school senior and I've just decided on what potential career path I want to pursue, which will impact the college I want to attend next fall.

I'm not looking forward to having this conversation with my parents, especially my father, because he not only wants me to attend a college that happens to be his alma mater, but he also expects me to follow in his footsteps in the career profession he has been successful at.

I did consider this potential career for a few years, and at one point, I felt it would be a good idea for me. However, now that I'm older and have expanded my search, I'm pretty sure that I want to pursue other endeavors in my working life.

I have some time before I need to tell him, but I don't even have a clue how to go about explaining my decision to him. Do you feel I should wait until towards the end of the school year to bring the subject up with him, or should I do it relatively soon? And whenever I tell him, how do I best go about this? I'm beyond nervous about how I expect him to react. — He's Likely to Be Unhappy, via email

HE'S LIKELY TO BE UNHAPPY: If you delay having this conversation with your father simply for the purpose of delaying the inevitable, you'll put yourself through a lot of unnecessary mental strife. Plus, when the time comes, you'll have to have the same conversation anyhow, so my advice would be to plan to have this conversation with him relatively soon.

Having said that, I feel the best thing you can do is start working right now on creating a brief outline that lists the topics and reasons why you've decided on your future. Don't write out a speech or anything like that. Simply come up with a small handful of topics boiled down to "bullet points" that you would like to discuss with him. Go over this list for at least a week privately until you're comfortable with the subject matter and how you're going to discuss it.

When the time comes, sit down with not only your father, but potentially your mother, and any other family members who it might be appropriate to include in this discussion. Sometimes, having a "buffer" person present along with the person (in this case, your father) who is unlikely to be happy with the news being discussed can help smooth out the entire discussion.

You can also conclude by saying that although you've made a decision now, you're going to reserve the right to course correct your decision at any point in the future should you elect to do so. Thank him for all of his suggestions and guidance to this point and tell him how much you appreciate everything he's done for you thus far. Having a prepared discussion sooner rather than later will be a relief to you. You might even be pleasantly surprised that the result won't be as difficult as you perhaps envision it may be.

I WOULD PREFER TO SPEAK TO A FEMALE DOCTOR

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl and I live with my father and three younger brothers. My mother passed away when I was very young, so I'm the only female in our household.

Everything at home is fine, and I certainly do my part to help our family and my younger brothers deal with everything we need to accomplish each week. My dad has hired a lady who comes in twice a week to cook and clean our house, so that's a big help as well.

I always try to be as self-sufficient as possible, because my dad has a stressful job and he works a lot. We've always had the same family doctor, but recently a few things have come up that have caused me to want to seek medical attention. Frankly, I'm not comfortable with the male doctor who has been our family doctor as far back as I can remember. There's nothing at all wrong with him — he's a good doctor and a nice person — but I just wouldn't be comfortable having a discussion with him about the topics I need to discuss.

Do you think it would be appropriate for me to ask my father if I can find a female doctor to visit instead? I'm not sure about how that would affect our insurance or other matters like that, and I certainly don't want to add another "to do" task to my father's list of things he needs to get done. What should I do? — Seeking a Female Doctor, via email

SEEKING A FEMALE DOCTOR: Yes, I feel you have every right to request the opportunity to meet with a female doctor. Given the dynamic of your family situation and your father's busy schedule, do as much legwork as you possibly can in advance before you bring this topic up to your father.

Perhaps you can speak to a few friends at school, and even a few of their parents, who may know of an excellent female doctor in your area. This way, once you have a particular doctor in mind, you could contact that medical office and find out in advance at least some general guidelines about what types of insurance they accept.

At that point, you could sit down with your father and have a discussion and show him the research you've compiled so that he can review it together with you. I trust your father will similarly be open to accommodating your wishes, so do a little legwork and be ready to discuss it with him as soon as you're ready.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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